Last night a buck eejit knocked over a full pint of Guinness & after spewing across the table it waterfalled over the edge & completely soaked my Mandolin!
I often keep my Fiddle & Mandolin on those little mini stands, when I need both at a session, but that's the last time I leave them sitting anywhere near the table!
Who knows though, perhaps the Mandolin will actually sound better, now that it's been Guinness Christened!
Have you any sad or annoying drink related session / instrument stories?
I had my barcus berry fiddle pick up broken when a drunk dancer lost his balance and reeled back into me, getting his foot caught in my wire. He almost ripped the fiddle right out of my hand when he pulled on the cable, but I held on, causing the pick up to get ripped off he fiddle. I soddered the wires back together within the pick up, but it never worked the same.
we were rehearsing the other night when Paul , our guitarist, came out with the punchline to a brilliant joke just as I took a mouthfull of Guinness. Being unable to laugh and swallow at the same time I promptly jet washed the poor bodhran player and his bodhran sitting opposite...
Your mandolin'll survive, Ptarmigan. A good wipe with a damp rag, a splash of lemon oil on the fingerboard and a new set of strings should sort it. It's probably been crying out for a taste of the black stuff all these years - now it's finally come of age.
But you might want to avoid taking any French Polished instruments to the pub, just in case of any future mishaps. Next time it could be Jamieson's (although probably not a pint of it).
A friend's daughter, who is a consummate fiddler and dance caller, was both playing and calling for a ceili about a year ago. Not having a stage, she had put her beloved fiddle down on the floor whilst calling a dance. I hardly need tell you what happened next - somebody danced right on top of it and crushed it flat. I can hear you all wincing. Well, fortunately, it was insured, and her mother, being a violin teacher, knew of a good restorer, who did an immaculate, near-invisible job on it. She swears it sounds better now than it did before.
Yeah, I have a self inflicted story, and my fiddle bares the waffle pattern scar on it's finish to this day. Had spilled some booze likely some Jameson's on the coffee table, I used a paper towel to clean it up, set my fiddle down, and went to bed. Next morning I realized the paper towel had been in contact with the back of my fiddle, and it left an impression in the varnish! Showed it to my luthier who just answered "great antiquing" and its still there today... ah well.
I recall a session one year in the Ailsa Bar at the Girvan Folk Festival, when there was this really big fellow, very full of drink, who was swaying all over the place in a pretty alarming and potentially dangerous manner. What happened was that as he seemed to be like one of those lead weighted toys you used to get, that couldn't be knocked over, everyone eventually ignored him. Then, some 3 odd hours after he'd staggered into the bar, and everyone was at their ease, there was this enormous and cataclysmic crash - when he fell over onto a full table of drink, all of which went flying. In fact, I'm not sure that the table might have been the worse for wear too. No instruments damaged though, luckily...
The self same thing happened to me Paddy's Day before last. A full pint of the black pouring straight across the table and over the edge on to my accordion. Luckily I'd left it in the backpack with the flap hanging over the top, so the whole lot waterfalled off and onto the floor. Otherwise it would have gone straight in through the fretwork and on through the reeds. The backpack's stained to hell, but it payed for itself that day.
We played a very rowdy pub gig one time where one p*ssed eejit was beating time loudly on the table with what turned out to be our bodhranista's prized tin low D whistle. It looked like a flamin' banana once we caught on. He tried to straighten it the following week and ended up kinking it at the lowest hole. I think it was the final straw in a line of session related mishaps that led to him not turning up any more.
On a lighter note, our enthusiastic Norn Irish banjo and zouk player turned up steamin' at one gig, which ended up running for four hours with complimentary Guinness flowing freely. At the end the manageress asked us to go up to the beer garden as people had said they couldn't hear the music and had asked us to play a tune or two. Ever keen to follow the free booze we found the only spare table in a mass of riotously drunk backpackers and started to get box & guitar ready. In waltzes yer maun with a banjo in one hand and a bazouki in the other, tries to sit down but misses his chair, and throws the pair of them over his shoulder. I caught one, and luckily a passer by caught the other, but the whole place shut up and looked in our direction. I shouted to the guitarist "fast reels, NOW!" and off we went. You could see people thinking "Hey, there's a band over there..". We could have been playing for an hour otherwise, and no-one would have been any the wiser.
And a friend once fell asleep under a palm tree at the entrance to his property, waiting for the rest of us to finish drinking at the pub and come back to his place for a session.
Trouble was, he'd been drinking as much as we had, it was a scorching hot day (and this is Australia we're talking about), and he'd got his fiddle out of it's case and tuned it all ready to go, then left it on the verandah in full sun...
Three hours later we found what looked like a large lobster by the front gate, and a sticky pineapple with strings attached over by the house. The varnish melted and never rehardened, and as far as I know he could never get it fixed.
You don't even have to be in places with proper sun for that to happen - somebody I knew left his fiddle in a car on a sunny day somewhere in S. England. When he took it out of its case, the varnish had come up in blisters. As luck would have it, he was studying violin making, so he was able to make the best of the experience and use it as a restoration project.
On my stag do the day before the day before the wedding, one inlaw-to-be was being a pain in ther backside and after a long night of bowling lapdance club and then back home for a game of poker, things came to a head. Something he said set me off (and I'm normally a passive music loving nice fella, normally) anyway the pair of us went awaltzing round the front room with a few others hanging on- I think I was leading most of the time but at some point I backed into my banjo, heel thru the head and snapped the neck.
The next day there were tears and telephone calls, threats of boycotting his sisters wedding unless there was an appology etc...
But it all turned out ok, the day was terrific, and we've been happy together for 15 years now. I fixed the banjo and it has improved it. The inlaw is the same.
They had all been fixed, but not before everyone had claimed my instrument collection as their own, in their own unique way. On damp days, I still am reminded by my fiddle case of my beloved wee furry beasties.
So, on a fine soft evening, at a session, i sat down to play, took out the ax, and slid the case under the chair next to me. Another player arrived, sat down, set up, and joined in.
The warmth of the fire spread through the room, but not nearly so quick as the memories of my felines. Everyone kept looking about, and at each other, and at her (Oops!), till I discreetly picked up the case and removed it to another room.
A certain nearby hostery never seems to wipe the tables properly and they are always sticky. I always have visions of my concertina getting stuck to the table.
"A certain nearby hostery never seems to wipe the tables properly and they are always sticky. I always have visions of my concertina getting stuck to the table."
Perhaps it was requested by the musicians, to reduce the risk of insruments sliding of the table, should it fall over.
I knowked over 2 drinks in separate incidents at last weeks session (doh! ... doh!) I can't remember the last time prior to that that I knocked one over
Sticky tables don't happen at my regular session pub'.
It's seriously and quite possibly the cleanest pub' in London. Everything is polished at least daily.
My baritone uke (the baritone I usually use for sessions anyway) must have had gallons of beer poured on it and over it over the years, and that's just me let alone all the session accidents and so forth; I think it probably improves the tone!
("Your tone couldn't get any worse!" they chorus)
after reading through this, ive decided the best thing I can do is pour a pint of Guinness in my f holes, stomp my fiddle flat, take it to the shop and maybe then I'll have one worth playing
Someone poured once a fair amount of apple schnaps on my box... soaked the bellows... I dried them, but for months i'd smell the alcohol everytime I played...improved my playing...
Everybody seems to be pinching my trick of knocking the drinks over.
I claim that as my own under long right of passage and practice.
On the subject, does anyone give much credence to the idea of using stout as a coolant for over-tight bodrhan skins ?
Yeah, Guiness spills ruined the original skin head on my Whyte Laydie tenor banjo. People said, just rub it in , it's good for the skin. Wrong.
Speaking of the drink, lately my vegan friends have been bugging me about Guinness using fish products in their filtering process.
Mr P, I am sorry to hear about your mando! Dangers of the trade!
The floor of the musician's spot in the pub where we session weekly has absorbed so many spilled beers over the years that it's actually been classified as a new type of wood. 'Guinness Oak' I believe they call it.
My trouble with drink used to be always finding myself in the far corner of the room in a small pub, consuming several glasses, then finding myself in a jam packed room, stuck in a corner with no way out, and the Men's room at the other side of the building. The potted plant next to me has looked inviting on many occasions. Maybe I need to try that truck driver trick (how to pee into a container without interrupting your driving).
Well, when it comes to people spilling Guinness in your direction, its good to have a clean bodhran handy to prevent the waste. Isn't that why they make Guinness bodhrans?
Micheál's story about being stuck in a room with a potted plant next to him (to wee into ) reminds me of a story I heard about people working TV cameras on outside broadcasts. Often, you'd be stuck up a scaffold tower for hours on end, and wouldn't be easily able to escape for those calls of nature. So they'd simply wee into the top of one of the poles. The only problem someone once had was that they once inadvertantly showered some dignitary who was sitting next to the tower near the bottom, just beside the point where two poles were joined together.
I've just recently been working on a medieaval-set adventure movie. One morning at breakfast the crowd Assistant Director called us all to attention and complained that someone on the ( fake ) castle set had peed into one of the water bottles. Well, it was a long way up ! As the back of the castle was just scaffolding they should have just put a funnel on the end of one of the pipes.
It was one of the crew too, bet they didn't get bawled out the way us extras did.
Nah, in real life you can spend eight or nine hours waiting for 15 seconds of activity. Ricky Gervaise could never show an extra's day in real time, it would just be too boring. You get desoloutry (?sp?) conversations, card schools, people with their heads sunk in books, people crawling off to have naps.....'Extras' is as close to real life as, say 'Eastenders'.
Figure it out.
The trouble with Drink!
The trouble with Drink!
Last night a buck eejit knocked over a full pint of Guinness & after spewing across the table it waterfalled over the edge & completely soaked my Mandolin!
I often keep my Fiddle & Mandolin on those little mini stands, when I need both at a session, but that's the last time I leave them sitting anywhere near the table!
Who knows though, perhaps the Mandolin will actually sound better, now that it's been Guinness Christened!
Have you any sad or annoying drink related session / instrument stories?
Cheers
Dick
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Ptarmigan
Re: The trouble with Drink!
I had my barcus berry fiddle pick up broken when a drunk dancer lost his balance and reeled back into me, getting his foot caught in my wire. He almost ripped the fiddle right out of my hand when he pulled on the cable, but I held on, causing the pick up to get ripped off he fiddle. I soddered the wires back together within the pick up, but it never worked the same.
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by irishfiddler32
Re: The trouble with Drink!
we were rehearsing the other night when Paul , our guitarist, came out with the punchline to a brilliant joke just as I took a mouthfull of Guinness. Being unable to laugh and swallow at the same time I promptly jet washed the poor bodhran player and his bodhran sitting opposite...
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by weebag
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Hey irishfiddler32, who says playing for Dancers isn't a dangerous business!
Weebag, that sounds a lot like poetic justice to me!
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Ptarmigan
Re: The trouble with Drink!
that's why I bring my delrin flute and leave my Grandfather's fiddle at home...
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Greg the Piano Tuner
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Your mandolin'll survive, Ptarmigan. A good wipe with a damp rag, a splash of lemon oil on the fingerboard and a new set of strings should sort it. It's probably been crying out for a taste of the black stuff all these years - now it's finally come of age.
But you might want to avoid taking any French Polished instruments to the pub, just in case of any future mishaps. Next time it could be Jamieson's (although probably not a pint of it).
A friend's daughter, who is a consummate fiddler and dance caller, was both playing and calling for a ceili about a year ago. Not having a stage, she had put her beloved fiddle down on the floor whilst calling a dance. I hardly need tell you what happened next - somebody danced right on top of it and crushed it flat. I can hear you all wincing. Well, fortunately, it was insured, and her mother, being a violin teacher, knew of a good restorer, who did an immaculate, near-invisible job on it. She swears it sounds better now than it did before.
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by OrganicPeatCreature
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Oh, good aim weebag. Good aim!!!
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Dennis Regan
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Yeah, I have a self inflicted story, and my fiddle bares the waffle pattern scar on it's finish to this day. Had spilled some booze likely some Jameson's on the coffee table, I used a paper towel to clean it up, set my fiddle down, and went to bed. Next morning I realized the paper towel had been in contact with the back of my fiddle, and it left an impression in the varnish! Showed it to my luthier who just answered "great antiquing" and its still there today... ah well.
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by SandyBottoms
Re: The trouble with Drink!
"I used a paper towel to clean it up .."
WHAT! ................ You mean you didn't Lick it Up?
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Ptarmigan
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Hi Dick,
I recall a session one year in the Ailsa Bar at the Girvan Folk Festival, when there was this really big fellow, very full of drink, who was swaying all over the place in a pretty alarming and potentially dangerous manner. What happened was that as he seemed to be like one of those lead weighted toys you used to get, that couldn't be knocked over, everyone eventually ignored him. Then, some 3 odd hours after he'd staggered into the bar, and everyone was at their ease, there was this enormous and cataclysmic crash - when he fell over onto a full table of drink, all of which went flying. In fact, I'm not sure that the table might have been the worse for wear too. No instruments damaged though, luckily...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Ron P
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Dick,
The self same thing happened to me Paddy's Day before last. A full pint of the black pouring straight across the table and over the edge on to my accordion. Luckily I'd left it in the backpack with the flap hanging over the top, so the whole lot waterfalled off and onto the floor. Otherwise it would have gone straight in through the fretwork and on through the reeds. The backpack's stained to hell, but it payed for itself that day.
We played a very rowdy pub gig one time where one p*ssed eejit was beating time loudly on the table with what turned out to be our bodhranista's prized tin low D whistle. It looked like a flamin' banana once we caught on. He tried to straighten it the following week and ended up kinking it at the lowest hole. I think it was the final straw in a line of session related mishaps that led to him not turning up any more.
On a lighter note, our enthusiastic Norn Irish banjo and zouk player turned up steamin' at one gig, which ended up running for four hours with complimentary Guinness flowing freely. At the end the manageress asked us to go up to the beer garden as people had said they couldn't hear the music and had asked us to play a tune or two. Ever keen to follow the free booze we found the only spare table in a mass of riotously drunk backpackers and started to get box & guitar ready. In waltzes yer maun with a banjo in one hand and a bazouki in the other, tries to sit down but misses his chair, and throws the pair of them over his shoulder. I caught one, and luckily a passer by caught the other, but the whole place shut up and looked in our direction. I shouted to the guitarist "fast reels, NOW!" and off we went. You could see people thinking "Hey, there's a band over there..". We could have been playing for an hour otherwise, and no-one would have been any the wiser.
Eno
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by bc_box_player
Re: The trouble with Drink!
And a friend once fell asleep under a palm tree at the entrance to his property, waiting for the rest of us to finish drinking at the pub and come back to his place for a session.
Trouble was, he'd been drinking as much as we had, it was a scorching hot day (and this is Australia we're talking about), and he'd got his fiddle out of it's case and tuned it all ready to go, then left it on the verandah in full sun...
Three hours later we found what looked like a large lobster by the front gate, and a sticky pineapple with strings attached over by the house. The varnish melted and never rehardened, and as far as I know he could never get it fixed.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by bc_box_player
Re: The trouble with Drink!
You don't even have to be in places with proper sun for that to happen - somebody I knew left his fiddle in a car on a sunny day somewhere in S. England. When he took it out of its case, the varnish had come up in blisters. As luck would have it, he was studying violin making, so he was able to make the best of the experience and use it as a restoration project.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by OrganicPeatCreature
Re: The trouble with Drink!
"Re: The trouble with Drink!"
There's never enough, simple as that really!
Peace,
Ed
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ejsant
Re: The trouble with Drink!
On my stag do the day before the day before the wedding, one inlaw-to-be was being a pain in ther backside and after a long night of bowling lapdance club and then back home for a game of poker, things came to a head. Something he said set me off (and I'm normally a passive music loving nice fella, normally) anyway the pair of us went awaltzing round the front room with a few others hanging on- I think I was leading most of the time but at some point I backed into my banjo, heel thru the head and snapped the neck.
The next day there were tears and telephone calls, threats of boycotting his sisters wedding unless there was an appology etc...
But it all turned out ok, the day was terrific, and we've been happy together for 15 years now. I fixed the banjo and it has improved it. The inlaw is the same.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by joemchugh
Re: The trouble with Drink!
We have cats.
Seven cats.
They had all been fixed, but not before everyone had claimed my instrument collection as their own, in their own unique way. On damp days, I still am reminded by my fiddle case of my beloved wee furry beasties.
So, on a fine soft evening, at a session, i sat down to play, took out the ax, and slid the case under the chair next to me. Another player arrived, sat down, set up, and joined in.
The warmth of the fire spread through the room, but not nearly so quick as the memories of my felines. Everyone kept looking about, and at each other, and at her (Oops!), till I discreetly picked up the case and removed it to another room.
Situation saved.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Rook
Re: The trouble with Drink!
A certain nearby hostery never seems to wipe the tables properly and they are always sticky. I always have visions of my concertina getting stuck to the table.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by geoffwright
Re: The trouble with Drink!
"A certain nearby hostery never seems to wipe the tables properly and they are always sticky. I always have visions of my concertina getting stuck to the table."
Perhaps it was requested by the musicians, to reduce the risk of insruments sliding of the table, should it fall over.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by OrganicPeatCreature
Re: The trouble with Drink!
LOL, OPC.
I just got a great image of a pub table on its' side with a concertina, a flute and a fiddle stuck to it.
Given the posts above, it could happen.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by bc_box_player
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Hey Geoff, a sticky table could be very useful, if your Concertina is this shape:
http://hmi.homewood.net/edeophone/mvc-010s.jpg
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Ptarmigan
Re: The trouble with Drink!
I knowked over 2 drinks in separate incidents at last weeks session (doh! ... doh!) I can't remember the last time prior to that that I knocked one over
-c hris
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Sticky tables don't happen at my regular session pub'.
It's seriously and quite possibly the cleanest pub' in London. Everything is polished at least daily.
My baritone uke (the baritone I usually use for sessions anyway) must have had gallons of beer poured on it and over it over the years, and that's just me let alone all the session accidents and so forth; I think it probably improves the tone!
("Your tone couldn't get any worse!" they chorus)
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by yhaalhouse
Re: The trouble with Drink!
"Sticky tables don't happen at my regular session pub ... Everything is polished at least daily."
You must have a serious problem with instruments sliding off tables, yha - even when they're not tilted.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by OrganicPeatCreature
Re: The trouble with Drink!
If you really want the best out of your uke, this is what you need to spill over it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bluehawaiian.jpg
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by OrganicPeatCreature
Re: The trouble with Drink!
after reading through this, ive decided the best thing I can do is pour a pint of Guinness in my f holes, stomp my fiddle flat, take it to the shop and maybe then I'll have one worth playing
# Posted on September 22nd 2009 by Barry1963
Re: The trouble with Drink!
If you pay extra for a keyed flute, at least it shouldn't roll off the table.
# Posted on September 22nd 2009 by disillusioned
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Someone poured once a fair amount of apple schnaps on my box... soaked the bellows... I dried them, but for months i'd smell the alcohol everytime I played...improved my playing...
# Posted on September 22nd 2009 by Nikita Pfister
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Everybody seems to be pinching my trick of knocking the drinks over.
I claim that as my own under long right of passage and practice.
On the subject, does anyone give much credence to the idea of using stout as a coolant for over-tight bodrhan skins ?
# Posted on September 22nd 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: The trouble with Drink!
I've been told the old stout-on-the-goatskin trick is an old wives tale. It actually ruins them.
# Posted on September 23rd 2009 by bc_box_player
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Yeah, Guiness spills ruined the original skin head on my Whyte Laydie tenor banjo. People said, just rub it in , it's good for the skin. Wrong.
Speaking of the drink, lately my vegan friends have been bugging me about Guinness using fish products in their filtering process.
# Posted on September 23rd 2009 by primrose lass
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Mr P, I am sorry to hear about your mando! Dangers of the trade!
The floor of the musician's spot in the pub where we session weekly has absorbed so many spilled beers over the years that it's actually been classified as a new type of wood. 'Guinness Oak' I believe they call it.
# Posted on September 23rd 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: The trouble with Drink!
My trouble with drink used to be always finding myself in the far corner of the room in a small pub, consuming several glasses, then finding myself in a jam packed room, stuck in a corner with no way out, and the Men's room at the other side of the building. The potted plant next to me has looked inviting on many occasions. Maybe I need to try that truck driver trick (how to pee into a container without interrupting your driving).
Well, when it comes to people spilling Guinness in your direction, its good to have a clean bodhran handy to prevent the waste. Isn't that why they make Guinness bodhrans?
# Posted on September 24th 2009 by Micheál
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Micheál's story about being stuck in a room with a potted plant next to him (to wee into ) reminds me of a story I heard about people working TV cameras on outside broadcasts. Often, you'd be stuck up a scaffold tower for hours on end, and wouldn't be easily able to escape for those calls of nature. So they'd simply wee into the top of one of the poles. The only problem someone once had was that they once inadvertantly showered some dignitary who was sitting next to the tower near the bottom, just beside the point where two poles were joined together.
# Posted on September 24th 2009 by Mark Harmer
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Wow, I've never seen a spilt drink at the session here, I always set my violin on the table too when I go for a refill.
# Posted on September 24th 2009 by Earl Cameron
Re: The trouble with Drink!
I've just recently been working on a medieaval-set adventure movie. One morning at breakfast the crowd Assistant Director called us all to attention and complained that someone on the ( fake ) castle set had peed into one of the water bottles. Well, it was a long way up ! As the back of the castle was just scaffolding they should have just put a funnel on the end of one of the pipes.
It was one of the crew too, bet they didn't get bawled out the way us extras did.
# Posted on September 24th 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Guernsey you must be a real-life Ricky Gervais! Cool.
# Posted on September 24th 2009 by fidkid
Re: The trouble with Drink!
Nah, in real life you can spend eight or nine hours waiting for 15 seconds of activity. Ricky Gervaise could never show an extra's day in real time, it would just be too boring. You get desoloutry (?sp?) conversations, card schools, people with their heads sunk in books, people crawling off to have naps.....'Extras' is as close to real life as, say 'Eastenders'.
Figure it out.
# Posted on September 27th 2009 by Guernsey Pete